"I
met a man who lives in Tennessee and he was heading for
Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie.
From Pennsylvania folks are travelling down to Dixie's sunny shore.
From Atlantic to Pacific, gee, the traffic is terrific."
--from the song "(There's No Place) Like Home for the Holidays," by Al Stillman and Robert Allen
Unless you're completely oblivious to your surroundings or haven't
looked at a calendar in a few months, you know it's the holiday
season. Consequently, everywhere you go, you hear holiday
music. The problem I have with Christmas music (aside from the
fact that, since I work in retail, I'm often burned out on it by Veterans' Day), is that even
though the songs may be performed by an artist I like, I've already
heard that song countless times by a host of other artists. At
this point, there's nothing left for me to do but examine the lyrics. And when you stop to really think about it, some of these lyrics just make you say, "huh?"Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie.
From Pennsylvania folks are travelling down to Dixie's sunny shore.
From Atlantic to Pacific, gee, the traffic is terrific."
--from the song "(There's No Place) Like Home for the Holidays," by Al Stillman and Robert Allen
Some
of these lyrics make no sense to me. For example, ponder the
lyric that I quoted at the top of this post. I want to know
what kind of traffic Stillman and Allen were driving through.
I've never travelled through "terrific" traffic, especially
when I'm going anywhere for the holidays. I dare anyone to try
to drive out of Bloomington, Indiana, at 5:00 in the afternoon on any
given day, let alone during a weekend or major holiday. I
guaran-friggin'-tee you the word "terrific" is not the
first word that will pass your lips. If you're anything like
me, it will probably be a word (or three) that can't be said on
network television. From experience I can tell you that some of
the traffic in Bloomington is so gridlocked it makes Congress look
functional. And I'm sure it's even worse in the big cities.
I promise you that no one in their right mind has ever sat behind
fifteen other cars that don't appear to be moving and thought, "this
is great!" The only time I've ever been in terrific
traffic is when mine is the only car on the road.
The other song that has really puzzled me lately is "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year," written by Edward Pola and George Wyle. A question comes to mind. Just out of curiosity... y'know... for my own edification--have you ever mistletoed? I've never mistletoed. I've never jingle belled either. Do you know why? BECAUSE THESE ARE NOT VERBS!
The other song that has really puzzled me lately is "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year," written by Edward Pola and George Wyle. A question comes to mind. Just out of curiosity... y'know... for my own edification--have you ever mistletoed? I've never mistletoed. I've never jingle belled either. Do you know why? BECAUSE THESE ARE NOT VERBS!
Something else about "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" annoys me. Every year I ask this question and no one has ever been able to give me a satisfactory answer, so I'll ask it again. Aside from Charles Dickens and maybe
Tim Burton who in the hell tells scary ghost stories at Christmas?
I have a theory that this must be some kind of weird German tradition kind of
like the "Christmas Pickle." Gotta love those crazy
Germans. Regardless, I believe that Pola and Wyle never worked
retail. If they had, this song would likely never have been
written... or if it had, it would be much different.
Does anyone know when the song "When You Wish Upon a Star" became a Christmas song? That's right, "When You Wish Upon a Star," written by Leigh Harline and Ned Washington, and first sung by Cliff Edwards in the 1940 animated Disney classic Pinocchio appeared two years ago on Rod Stewart's Christmas album. ???????? I was willing to write that off as a UK thing. After some of the things Susan Boyle put on her first Christmas album including (and I'm not making any of these up) Crowded House's "Don't Dream It's Over" and Lou Reed's "Perfect Day," I just assumed that those lovably nutty Brits had a different definition of "holiday music" than the rest of us. In fact someone once told me that Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" is the biggest selling Christmas song in the UK--even though it's not a Christmas song and was written by a Jewish Buddhist (Jewddhist?). And, yes, Boyle included that on her holiday album as well. As such, I was willing to forgive "Rod the Mod" for his inclusion of "When You Wish Upon a Star," until last year when Idina Menzel also put the song on her Christmas album. Did I miss something? I don't remember anything in the song relating to any holiday. I don't even remember anything relating to the winter season. Is wishing upon a star some sort of thing that non-Christian kids can do instead of writing letters to Santa Claus? THIS IS NOT A CHRISTMAS SONG!!!! I know I'm telling the truth about this because my nose didn't start growing when I wrote that last sentence.
I've also noticed certain thematic elements in songs. A couple years ago, a friend of mine described the song "Baby It's Cold Outside" (which also has very little to do with Christmas itself) as "rapey"--if that even is a word. The more I listen to it, I have to say it really is. I found it amusing a year or so later when comedians Key and Peele said the same thing (even using the word "rapey") before presenting their own take on this holiday standard titled "Just Stay For the Night" (which you can view at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_F0zP9usU if you're so inclined). Even my own sister once referred to "Baby It's Cold Outside" as a "rape anthem." In retrospect, I suppose it's not as bad as the Crystals' 1962 (non-holiday) recording "He Hit Me (and It Felt Like a Kiss)," which I'm sure Carole King now regrets co-writing, but it's still something we might want to sing less and less as time progresses.
I'm also trying to figure out how I never noticed it before, but "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" is incredibly sad, isn't it? It was originally written by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blaine and introduced in the 1944 Judy Garland film Meet Me in St. Louis. Over the years, I noticed that there are alternate, less depressing lyrics. Depending on who is singing, you may hear it sung "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough." This line was written at the request of Frank Sinatra who recorded the song in 1957 for his album A Jolly Christmas From Frank Sinatra. The Chairman of the Ol' Blue Eyes felt that the original lyric, "Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow," wasn't exactly in the spirit of the title of the album and asked Hugh Martin if he could "jolly up that line." Today, you can still hear both versions.
Further research indicates that the situation is worse than I originally thought. According to Wikipedia, many of the song's original lyrics were thrown out before filming of Meet Me in St. Louis even began. Originally the song opened with:
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last.
Next year may we all be living in the past.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas, pop that Champagne cork.
Next year may we all be living in New York."
Well, at least it rhymed. Fortunately Judy Garland, her Meet Me in St. Louis co-star Tom Drake, and the film's director Vincente Minnelli, all agreed that this was too depressing and asked Martin to write something a bit more upbeat. This has got to be rough on a songwriter. You pour your heart and soul into the lyrics and the people you write the song for ask you to write something else. After you've done that, someone comes up to you nearly a decade and a half later and asks you to make another alteration because it's not "jolly" enough. If I were Hugh Martin, my first instinct would be to tell Frank to record another song if he didn't like it, possibly "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
Does anyone know when the song "When You Wish Upon a Star" became a Christmas song? That's right, "When You Wish Upon a Star," written by Leigh Harline and Ned Washington, and first sung by Cliff Edwards in the 1940 animated Disney classic Pinocchio appeared two years ago on Rod Stewart's Christmas album. ???????? I was willing to write that off as a UK thing. After some of the things Susan Boyle put on her first Christmas album including (and I'm not making any of these up) Crowded House's "Don't Dream It's Over" and Lou Reed's "Perfect Day," I just assumed that those lovably nutty Brits had a different definition of "holiday music" than the rest of us. In fact someone once told me that Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" is the biggest selling Christmas song in the UK--even though it's not a Christmas song and was written by a Jewish Buddhist (Jewddhist?). And, yes, Boyle included that on her holiday album as well. As such, I was willing to forgive "Rod the Mod" for his inclusion of "When You Wish Upon a Star," until last year when Idina Menzel also put the song on her Christmas album. Did I miss something? I don't remember anything in the song relating to any holiday. I don't even remember anything relating to the winter season. Is wishing upon a star some sort of thing that non-Christian kids can do instead of writing letters to Santa Claus? THIS IS NOT A CHRISTMAS SONG!!!! I know I'm telling the truth about this because my nose didn't start growing when I wrote that last sentence.
I've also noticed certain thematic elements in songs. A couple years ago, a friend of mine described the song "Baby It's Cold Outside" (which also has very little to do with Christmas itself) as "rapey"--if that even is a word. The more I listen to it, I have to say it really is. I found it amusing a year or so later when comedians Key and Peele said the same thing (even using the word "rapey") before presenting their own take on this holiday standard titled "Just Stay For the Night" (which you can view at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_F0zP9usU if you're so inclined). Even my own sister once referred to "Baby It's Cold Outside" as a "rape anthem." In retrospect, I suppose it's not as bad as the Crystals' 1962 (non-holiday) recording "He Hit Me (and It Felt Like a Kiss)," which I'm sure Carole King now regrets co-writing, but it's still something we might want to sing less and less as time progresses.
I'm also trying to figure out how I never noticed it before, but "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" is incredibly sad, isn't it? It was originally written by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blaine and introduced in the 1944 Judy Garland film Meet Me in St. Louis. Over the years, I noticed that there are alternate, less depressing lyrics. Depending on who is singing, you may hear it sung "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough." This line was written at the request of Frank Sinatra who recorded the song in 1957 for his album A Jolly Christmas From Frank Sinatra. The Chairman of the Ol' Blue Eyes felt that the original lyric, "Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow," wasn't exactly in the spirit of the title of the album and asked Hugh Martin if he could "jolly up that line." Today, you can still hear both versions.
Further research indicates that the situation is worse than I originally thought. According to Wikipedia, many of the song's original lyrics were thrown out before filming of Meet Me in St. Louis even began. Originally the song opened with:
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last.
Next year may we all be living in the past.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas, pop that Champagne cork.
Next year may we all be living in New York."
Well, at least it rhymed. Fortunately Judy Garland, her Meet Me in St. Louis co-star Tom Drake, and the film's director Vincente Minnelli, all agreed that this was too depressing and asked Martin to write something a bit more upbeat. This has got to be rough on a songwriter. You pour your heart and soul into the lyrics and the people you write the song for ask you to write something else. After you've done that, someone comes up to you nearly a decade and a half later and asks you to make another alteration because it's not "jolly" enough. If I were Hugh Martin, my first instinct would be to tell Frank to record another song if he didn't like it, possibly "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
This holiday season, before singing along with your favourite Christmas tunes, I beg of you don't just sing along because you know the words. Think about the true meaning of the lyrics and whether the song you're singing is even fit for the holiday season.
Thank you and have a Happy Holiday Season!
